Inspiration galore.

Many things have been inspiring me lately, even this song, so I wrote something and included the song.




There are those that care, and those that care less. Draw a fine line and separate the pools. Like the scales one will tip and weigh out the other. It's a matter of who you surround yourself with, and those you let close in as to what makes you what you are later on in your life.
Hatred or love.
Dark or light.
Day or night.
Everyone seems to think that is all there is to someone. You are either the evil sadist or the poor masochist.
Few,
Few prefer to walk the line in between. Be the one that makes you want to love them despite the hate, be the grey dusk that makes you lower in comfort and readiness for sleep, in the arms of one you know does not hate or love, but you are comforted.
Do you know that feeling? When the person leaves, pauses, but does not look back you know. It was not out of love or hate not because they are one or the other, but because they are that pillar.

Don't look back. Go. Despite doubt, that pillar will stand far longer then any weight on a scale.

Hrm.

Penis....


that will be all



(Randomness and awesome sauce, brought to you by.....

Me)

Lyrics in my head right now

ALL WE WANT IS A HEADRUSH
ALL WE WANT IS TO GET OUT OF OUR SKIN FOR A WHILE
WE HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE BECAUSE WE DON'T HAVE ANYTHING
ANYTHING WE WANT ANYWAY...
WE USED TO HATE PEOPLE
NOW WE JUST MAKE FUN OF THEM
IT'S MORE EFFECTIVE THAT WAY
WE DON'T LIVE
WE JUST SCRATCH ON DAY TO DAY
WITH NOTHING BUT MATCHBOOKS AND SARCASM IN OUR POCKETS
AND ALL WE ARE WAITING FOR IS FOR SOMETHING WORTH WAITING FOR
LET'S ADMIT AMERICA GETS THE CELEBRITIES WE DESERVE
LET'S STOP SAYING "DON'T QUOTE ME" BECAUSE IF NO ONE QUOTES YOU
YOU PROBABLY HAVEN'T SAID A THING WORTH SAYING
WE NEED SOMETHING TO KILL THE PAIN OF ALL THAT NOTHING INSIDE
WE ALL JUST WANT TO DIE A LITTLE BIT
WE FEAR THAT POP-CULTURE IS THE ONLY CULTURE WE'RE EVER GOING TO HAVE
WE WANT TO STOP READING MAGAZINES
STOP WATCHING TV
STOP CARING ABOUT HOLLYWOOD
BUT WE'RE ADDICTED TO THE THINGS WE HATE
WE DON'T RUN WASHINGTON AND NO ONE REALLY DOES
ASK NOT WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR YOUR COUNTRY
ASK WHAT YOUR COUNTRY DID TO YOU
THE ONLY REASON YOU'RE STILL ALIVE IS BECAUSE SOMEONE
HAS DECIDED TO LET YOU LIVE
WE OWE SO MUCH MONEY WE'RE NOT BROKE WE'RE BROKEN
WE'RE SO POOR WE CAN'T EVEN PAY ATTENTION
SO WHAT DO YOU WANT
YOU WANT TO BE FAMOUS AND RICH AND HAPPY
BUT YOU'RE TERRIFIED YOU HAVE NOTHING TO OFFER THIS WORLD
THING TO SAY AND NO WAY TO SAY IT
BUT YOU CAN SAY IT IN THREE LANGUAGES
YOU ARE MORE THAN THE SUM OF WHAT YOU CONSUME
DESIRE IS NOT AN OCCUPATION
YOU ARE ULTIMATELY THRILLED AND DESPERATE
SKYHIGH AND FUCKED
LET'S STOP PRAYING FOR SOMEONE TO SAVE US AND START SAVING OURSELVES
LET'S STOP THIS AND START OVER
LET'S GO OUT-LET'S KEEP GOING
THIS IS YOUR LIFE-THIS IS YOUR FUCKING LIFE
WE NEED SOMETHING TO KILL THE PAIN OF ALL THAT NOTHING INSIDE
QUIT WHINING YOU HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING WRONG BECAUSE FRANKLY
YOU HAVEN'T DONE MUCH OF ANYTHING
SOMEONE'S WRITING DOWN YOUR MISTAKES
SOMEONE'S DOCUMENTING YOUR DOWNFALL


I had it out with someone I really truly gave a shit about, over crap. I said one thing to her that brought this song into my head....Here is what I said:
[23:08] Absynth Narayan: this is my second fucking life(tm) and damnit i am not going to have bullshit and stress unneeded in it. THIS is why I have reverted to complete and utter roleplay in here unless i deem fit to let someone get into my first life emotions. And that is few and faaarrrr between. THIS is why i tend to not wander into the outside world of SL(tm). Because it is full of assholes that are lying deceitful manipulative peices of shit that claim "My rl and my sl are zen" no it is not, you know why? Because in rl if I would see Luc or Vic on the streets pulling the shit with me and you they are pulling here i would fucking dragon kick them into the milky way. And I bet in RL they wouldnt do this shit because they know someone out there has their number and they are playing the end game

To be spanish or not to be....?

[0:14] Denalius Vhargon: ((you guys are brutal - and I thought Naraka was tough. Sheeeesh))
[0:14] Kyra Nemeth: (( Never play with tick-tocks and tinmen, love.))
[0:14] Kyra Nemeth: (( no hearts))
[0:16] You: ((Lol! Oh but we are really sweet with a sour punch))
[0:17] You: ((I take that as a compliment since Narakas title bears "Ultraviolence" sim))
[0:18] Anyanka Bisiani: (( hell yeah ))
[0:18] Kyra Nemeth: ((and yet no milk bar))
[0:18] You: ((Lol Ky.))
[0:18] Strisciare Dallagio lay there cradling his shredded hand, too in shock to go into the hysterics his body probably would have. Breath quick and shallow, body shaking, eyes dazed. The muscles in his feet still rippled with the thought of running but his body lay there and his mind had all but blacked out with the shock.
[0:19] Anyanka Bisiani: (( Think we should have one? >.>))
[0:19] Kyra Nemeth: ((maybe for a clockwork orange event))
[0:19] You: ((A milk bar? ))
[0:19] Anyanka Bisiani: (( Yeah, a milk bar >.> but ooo, clockwork orange..))
[0:19] You: ((I want the big Peen statue!))
[0:20] Strisciare Dallagio: ((I know you can buy those mannequins somewhere))
[0:20] Kyra Nemeth: ((please tell me that didn't get missed?... a little bit of the ultraviolence... a refreshing glass at the milk bar?))
[0:20] Kyra Nemeth: ((o.o))
[0:21] Anyanka Bisiani: (( yo quiero el queso?))
[0:21] You: ((que?))
[0:21] Strisciare Dallagio: ((don't forget a bit of the ol' Ludwig Van))
[0:21] Anyanka Bisiani: (( tu mama tambien?))
[0:21] You: ((que?))
[0:21] Anyanka Bisiani: (( la grande cabesa?))
[0:21] You: ((que?))
[0:22] Anyanka Bisiani: (( chupa mi choca?))
[0:22] Strisciare Dallagio: ((el queso esta malo. Giggity))
[0:22] Anyanka Bisiani: (( rofl ))
[0:22] You: ((Que?))
[0:23] Denalius Vhargon: ((Giggity Giggity Goo - Quagmire rocks!))
[0:23] Anyanka Bisiani: (( is it my pose? >.>))
[0:23] Kyra Nemeth: ((lol... alright alright.. before we have to slap a -spanish lang.- tag on the sim))
[0:23] You: ((Iono))
[0:23] Anyanka Bisiani: (( ROFL ))
[0:23] Anyanka Bisiani: (( La dissonance'ee'ah))
[0:23] You: ((que?))
[0:24] Anyanka Bisiani absolutely dies.))
[0:24] Strisciare Dallagio: ((*crying laughing))
[0:24] Denalius Vhargon: ((My sides hurt!!))
[0:24] Kyra Nemeth: ((eh you'll live))
[0:24] Anyanka Bisiani: (( I wonder what happens if you collect rain water and drink it ))
[0:24] Kyra Nemeth: (( and hey if you don't... new fur rug for ky -thumbs up-))




.....Yeah it was at the wee hours, and after alot of RP we needed the slap happy break.

Pride!!

So, here is a shot featuring not only one of Aevalahs talented fountains but also the AIDs walk. Haven't been to SLs PRIDE event? I would. Lots to see, lots to do, much to learn if you do not already know. This is definitely one of the more purposeful events SL can throw in my opinion. So I will be there alot when my creative kick slows.

"What is straight? A line can be straight, or a street, but the human heart, oh, no, it's curved like a road through mountains."

Wow, just....wow

It has been one of those weeks, a week of...well shit. It's been crazy.

I think it all is winding down though but it never fails, stupid people still don't quit. I guess stupidity isn't something you can just expect people to stand back and realise. "Hey! Wow, if I did this, I would look...stupid...laughable....foolish."

I get IM'd while djing by this girl wanting 300 dollars or she gets put out in the street. I tooka bit to respond because I was still reading over this like. "Wow...just...no way....just...300L$? -blink- Wow, -rereads- no, she is asking for 300 RL money. Like USD...just...holy shit. Which I respond to with just the same amount of sarcasm and speech I would give to anyone I don't know asking me for 300.00. "I have me to take care of I have nothing for you." Then when it comes to a game, you are on a game asking this question. "Log off the computer and go find a job! Duh."

Like seriously. I am still shocked, yeah. -walks off-

Vogue me betch!

So, net issues make me want to rip my hair out, wanna know what else does? Making poses. Yes a new endeavor I had to try, that is what SL is about doing things you can't do in RL for some, letting your creativity flow and the beauty you make available to others to wear, try, visit, explore.

One thing I have learned this past week. DCS is great, but it is a hassle. Can we say not user friendly mmkay?

Another thing, maybe it is my patience. Gestures are annoying. You got to shop somewhere and all you here is "LOLOLOLOLOL hehehehe, Lookat me! I am an attention whore! And guess what?! Neko, so unique." Eyeroll. I come to SL to be creative, not something you see daily hence my creative endeavors.

Which leads me into doing poses. I was supposed to use this program for texture mapping, maybe making higher quality skins with less chance of seams, same for clothes. I started playing...Next thing you know I am making a pose that leads me to a creative idea of a couples pose I have not seen out there yet. Something that shows force, like a standstill tango of male and female. Force yet sensuality.

Yeah, I pose the figure the program provides and awesome you can move all down to the fingers which I spent all of 3 hours positioning the figure to perfection. Guess what? Thank you SL(tm) for not allowing that figure to function. >.> I find out I have to get LL character maps to load in but no guide as to how to do this. Another 2 hours later I figure it out. Not load by drag and drop into the program you just file and import. Dur. Either I am stupid or just to anal for simplicity.

Model loaded, I cant move all the joints like I could on the other. Ever wonder why many of your avatars are stiff in pose on some poses? Thats why. You cant move all the joints to work like a human body nor the fingers. I am sorry but I hate the unnatural splayed or fisted fingers sl provides in poses -.-. I forsee more migraines ahead, but...I actually like doing this and am hoping I can eventually provide something of unique quality that people love to see. :)

Also!

In a wondermous mood due to being able to obtain land with the help of a bunch of people, so many I cannot list them all, but to them I have a big thank you out and a welcome home to them as well, its not just mine, its ours.

Maybe, just maybe I will hump your faces for it!!! <3

Worship me.

Why you ask?

Because I have land, a wardrobe from hell with a lot of hair. Prims, lots and lots of prims to put myself on and treat them like pedestals.

Because I have a ball I hop on and can squeakily hump the hell out of your face, and guess what??! You can't get away. Muahhaa!!

I have sexgen I never use despite being so phucable! -hair flip-

I can dance because I have those balls too!!

In fact, I just have balls! Love me for that! Love me dammit and I will allow you entrance into my backside!

(Wanna know where this came from? Random fun times with friends and things we discuss. Sarcasm our way cuz we is da shizzle....





ma nizzle)

Wow, I am lazy.

Or just overly busy. One of the two maybe a bit of both. I have been working on my Roleplay land, a series of trenchcoats, some clothing, skins, building, and random shopping sprees when my L$ allows it.

One hunt I found great fun that I participated in was at Falln. Azriels magical mind unleashed on the movie the Labyrinth. Did a good job at it too I might add. It is a pain in the ass and if you are anything like me that gets anxiety in mazes be ready to get it in the 3D world of Second Life (tm). I think I was on the verge of panic nearly five times when i ended back where I had once came from. Yeah, get a grip right? But any way, the prizes were worth it to stock up my inventory numbers to an even higher level.

Sometimes I love this game, others I could simply choke people. -waves to some of them who might be stalking her page...or...ARE stalking her page for drama reasons.-

Anyway, nighto!

Hoaxes from other Countries and Stupid people.

BBC recommends: Second Life(tm)

An online, virtual 3-D world in which participants can act out their fantasy existence


That was a clip taken from the BBC's own site. Them recommending Second Life (tm). So why in the seven hells am I getting a note card in Second Life stating basically this:

Because of child porn found on Second Life(tm) the BBC is seeking to ban it. Sign this petition!! I must get 500 names quick! Return this petition to me once 500 has been reached and I will formally edit it and put it into correct petition format and send it to the BBC.

Okay...Let me put in number order why I hate this crap.

1) I don't like spam in my RL email, I don't want it in my SL(tm) either. I am here to get away from that crap.

2) Unless you are legit I refuse to put my name on anything unofficial to look the fool.

3) Note cards are always editable. This person could want these names for something else from adding them to a group to posting the names up with.."Look at these fools! They'll sign their names to anything without researching, maybe i can get their credit card info next!" to wanking off after seeing my profile pic when they type in my name -buffs nails- ....

...but let's get back to reality.

4) I live the good ole USA where the BBC does not effect me, they want to ban it in the UK goodie for them. You want to try and sue me from the UK, go on an try it. This my friends, is the primo showing of an epic phail in motion. KEEP YOUR SPAM OUT OF MY INVENTORY!

I researched this supposed ban. Guss what?! Bunk. So while I am looking I am IMing the owner of the note card to ask for the link to the proof before I post this blog, also in the meantime researching the BBC. The owner does not respond. Ten minutes later I send a "Hello?!" No response. Ten minutes later I state I am going to post a warning to all in my group to spread the word not to sign this bunk petition for name gathering. THEN I get a response. Supposedly even she just found out it was fake. *coughs*liar. You are on the internet, it is at your fingertips, research before you look the fool. Or were you not expecting to be caught.

Don't you phuck with me! Your spam better not end up in my inventory offers, your bogus across sea threats mean little to me. Especially from the BBC their own QUEEN has threatened them for being bogus back in July of 2007. How's that for their own countrys backing?

That'd be like FOX trying to ban Wal-Mart. Puhlease.

So maybe this blog will also wizen people up. Even on SL(tm) their are hoaxers, and hoaxes. Question it if it doesn't feel right.

*sings* You've been struck by, you've been hit by, a smooth criminal. Ow!

You know what really grinds my gears?

Retards. No, not the short bus riding, window licking, helmet wearing retards. Because they were born that way, and bless their hearts for it. In fact, retard isn't a good name for them. They are special needs. The ones I am about to go on about are....
Self made retards. Ones that are born as the world sees..."adequate" but then develop into to bottom feeding pond scum, yes, the things so high on themselves that don't notice...The world will turn without them. But they are damn fun to rant about.
Somehow these retards get followers, perhaps they need to have a place to belong because real life lacks it for them so they have to seek it in SL (tm). Or, they are right at that level but missed a synapses in their head that left them just staring in awe at the head retard going *clickclick* "whatever you say master." Pfftt bwahahahah!
But, they all seem to form a Family on poor little SL(tm) and then, if for some reason someone doesn't give up the smex, stick their nose in their anus, or bow/curtsy in just the right manner, we are beneath them and gone, and for bullshit reasons they fabricate mind you. I think the retard forgot, as a bottom feeder no one can get lower then you, just stoop to your level for a minute...go durdurdur, and return to reality.
My love was banned from a SIM for bullshit as I had mentioned before. Supposedly he was not doing his job as a GM and Mayor in the roleplay. This was reported by another bottom feeder to master bottom feeder by their following amoebas and Blamo! We have one big lie that only the blind see. Tell me where this makes sense? It doesn't. Anyway...
I love this other GM that still remained to death, and she knows who she is. But, after we all left things seemingly turned as well for her. Guess what. She hasn't been there either. Running the Necro office nor doing her GMing because they pretty much made it impossible for her to do. Which in more ways then one was also my loves case when head Durdedur was doing the hiring and no one worked in Town Hall, what's a mayor to do? Surely not just fuck his secretary and call it a day after the SL(tm) herpes antibiotic dosing. Well if he did, maybe then he would be seen as doing his job.
BUT my friend has not been back, has not been doing her "duties" to this hell hole place and is she being pounced on, yelled at, treated like shit and then banned?! Nope. But I am sure my love is still the ass, the scum is still the dark dog, and all will follow in his footsteps...

.
.
.
.
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Right over a cliff with you!
Tis the season for Spring cleaning.

Mary Lou Retten Says it best...

...and another thing.

There is a lot to do in SL (tm)((wtfever)). Plenty to see. It's like this to me. Maybe in RL you don't get to leave your country, hell, or even your state be it affordability, you're not allowed. Who knows. But you log onto a game that takes you all over so many places that have beautiful art put into them, shopping at low prices (in compared to RL money come now, getting shiz here is cheap), working jobs maybe you have always wanted. I know I am a self taught graphics designer (by no means pro) and I love to tinker with this stuff. So what do I do? To make in world money I put my sexy little avatar up on a pole, dance, then go DJ, on my offline times I pull up GIMP and put my graphics skills to work making skins, clothing, eyes, tattoos, for my little company I started.

Tell me that is not a lot to be able to do?

What do some people come on here to do though?

I was shopping at a store with a friend to get a peen for him. Mind you sexual bits in SL (tm wtfever) are not cheap, unless you get a one prim tapered cylinder colored pinkish. Yeah can we say red rocket? Ew. A newbie walks in, mind you, I have nothing against newbs as long as they have no disrespect, and sense. This one lacked sense. Anyway, he walks in and proceeds to but a peen that is about 600L. He is 3 days old, no payment infor on file, the typical brownish skin like it is painted on, freebie haior, no adjusted shape and freebie heart boxers. Thats it! Now buying with his hard earned camping money, a peen that squirts, pees, rises and whatever you know what they do. But hell I just had to inform him with another lady that he should have gone and gotten himself fixed up with that money before buying an expensive peen that will not match his newb skin. Because like in RL, if you dun look good, you wont be getting any. Unless you are two newbs on orientation island there for the same thing. Sex.

Apparently you lack a RL sex life. Newsflash then. Shut off the computer and go find a date. But please...please. Wash your skin, do your hair and dont go out with your peen hanging out of your heart boxers. We will be back at square one.

RL(Real life) vs. SL(Second Life)...FIGHT!

I once knew an egomaniac, who couldn't separate RL from SL, in fact, still can't. You know no one looks like their pixels, in fact, for the most part, it is a wanted representation of them self, just put into another being to experience the unexperianceable in their RL and to have fun.
But then we have assholes, whose fun is to try and make other peoples lives miserable and in the meantime gain worship from it, like some kind of dark god shrouded in mystery pixels.
Get off it.
I was having some issues with this before I went to a SIM called DarkSide, and thought I had reprieve from such. A friend of mine named Asher would not bow before this "dark dog" and recognize him as Master of the RP SIM by licking his boots, and boom, banned. His friends stood up for him by dancing around in the dark dogs sleeping chambers while he slept and left, but, were also of course banned.
I was new there so I really didn't see it for what it was until I experienced it. This dark dog claims he hates brown nosers, but if you do not schmooze up to the almighty then you as well, will be banned.
This dark dog even has meetings that last an hour or more, saying how everyone wants to fuck him "hair flip", because he is sooo powerful. Also, he does not separate RL from SL he is in pixels who he is in RL. Funny, I doubt it...Highly.
I didn't fuck him, never will. My beloved wouldn't fuck him with his nose, blatantly stated such, and boom, banned. Then, I get revoked my offering of becoming a Master Vamp in the RP there and told I am not trusted as, guilty by association.
I stayed, just to try and wrap up a grand opening of a club I was busting my ass for, but then this dark dog threatens to sue my beloved over a group my beloved created and paid the 100L (Linden money) for. Stating my beloved was slandering him, and in breach of copyright.
Guess what tall dark and pixelated. You couldn't do shit then besides ban with the almighty tap of you mouse, it wasn't going to change, and that peeved you didn't it? You couldn't ban him from a group you created, instead go to his woman and threaten RL effects on someone. Sad sad little man.
Apologetically I had to bow out of this SIM at that, and not finish what I started, I think that is what makes me seethe the most. I hate not finishing what I had started, especially something I dedicated hours to. All because we have a geek on a power trip.
Just so you know kiddies. Groups are not copy written, but, blatantly using someone else's work for your own gain and your own profit...IS.
Now, he is selling the SIM, one week later after this mass exodus of more then me and my beloved left. After 4 long years of managing the SIMs now, all of a sudden, they magically want out. There is more then just wanting a vacation. Please, we're not daft, remember, we wouldn't kiss your ass. We weren't stupid enough, so we got banned or left. Heaven forbid we rival the geek dark dogs wisdom, or beat him for that matter by a long shot.
So, back to the sale of the SIM. To help raise funds he is going to sell nude pics of he and his lover, starting at a reserve price! Fan your egos folks! Your pixels have competition now on the market.
I laugh at the fool who will spend RL money or their hard earned Lindens on something so tactless that screams "Look at me. my nude pics will sell and help save the SIM with the buyer in line!"
Do the world a favor, find some intelligence and sell it to the drones who would even fathom buying that crap. (Note: I said find it, because apparently you don't have it.)
I do hope one thing for this dark dog. When he is out from under his bad rep SIM, he goes and gets a real life, steps outside for a breath of fresh air, and tell the Queen how much of a god you are. I'm sure she will buy it, and send you straight to get medication.
Cheers! -as you lift your glass of water to down your Prozac- That'll help you with colorful dreams and doghood.

jer8yhngfokfihatepeople

Okay, so...I am a recluse. I leave my house for my kids, my loved ones, and survival. Yes, survival. That is what it is like out there. Dodging idiots who don't know how to drive because they have a mechanism attached to their ear. If you can't multi task, don't talk and drive. You people are fucking worse then the drunks. Then there are people who stare at you, wide eyed, wondering where you came from. (I hail from Zargnaght. *clickclick*) But I do have enough metal in my face to tune in a Tokyo cartoon network. Besides that though, these people seem to think sweat pants, flip flops and a Tweety shirt is the norm. Psh. You look like a slob! Helllooo! At least all my black matches and is stain free, my boots nicely laced for the fucking cold.
Let me explain my town. You drive from uptown to whatever you want to call a slummy side of things. Uptowners wear button ups with their sweats and those retarded cog looking plastic shoes with holes. Whatthefuckever pointless top bearing version of a flip flop.
Middle town. Somewhat decent sweats (if there is a such thing) with a random college shirt or a shirt that makes you a bands, foods, beers billboard. With cute little gemmed flip flops or the brown leather ones for the guys. Whatevergay.
Slum town. Nasty sweats that have not been laundered, a Tweety, Taz...Fuck it...looney tunes t-shirt and the one dollar flip flops they must spend 100 dollars on come the end of a year because they are cheap, and break.
BUT, each one of these dip shits, form any side of town, manage to have a nice cell phone to talk on and drive with and annoy the piss out of me with.
Fuck it, I hate most people. Hence why I stay home, close my door and close them out and play Second Life. That leads into my following blogs.
Oh the depictions of some of the slobs i meet here can go so far. But that's why you should read on.
(Note: I have also met alot of great people here, but none from my town. Go figure.)